I drew back my bedroom curtains this morning and my driveway has been decorated by crispy brown leaves. I'm sure they weren't there last night. Whay happened when I was sleeping? Did a michevious pixie visit my road, scattering handfuls of crunchy golden offerings? Was it a windy night, bringing a new breed of everbrown into the area? Or is it just that Autumn is arriving? Thinking about it, I realise that today is the 1st October, which is well and truly Autumn. But I can't help feeling a bit cheated. How can it be Autumn already when Summer never came? How can it already be another new year at uni? My FINAL year.

And that is what it all boils down to. My final year at uni starts today. I can still vividly remember my first day at uni. Maybe it's a case of pathetic fallacy that I definitely recall the weather then as being blue skies and sun - definitely t-shirt weather. Today, the sky is a block of off-white, and anyone who has been in the UK for the past couple of weeks knows the temperature as been on the wrong side of double figures.

It's like the skies are telling me to stay at home...don't come outside, I might rain on you. Who would argue with logic like that? I do kinda feel like hiding away. I know that if I leave the house today and go to this first seminar, it will mean I have to go to the next seminar, and the one after that too. It will mean that another year has started and it will go just as fast as the last two, and before I know it, I will be at the end of the year, facing the rest of my life.

This is another blog of doubt. I'm scared of growing up. I don't know what is happening tomorrow, let alone what is happening after the next 9months that like to move in fast-forward. But I know that at 5pm, I will walk out of the seminar and I will forget about these doubts. I will get back into the swing of uni and I will let time run as fast as it wants. I've packed my bag now. That's the first step. Next, I'll be putting on my shoes and then there will be no going back. Time goes on no matter how scared I am, and I will have to grow up no matter how much I fight it.