When you wish upon a star...

As a dedicated Facebook user, it's only natural for me to do a spot of FB stalking now and again. It's not unusual to come out of a good stalking with an interesting tid-bit or two, and the other day was no exception. On reading a friend's "About Me" section, I stumbled across this line: Once I wished upon a star but it didn't come true (paraphrased).

I read the comment a few times over, trying to decide what I thought about it. My first thought was that it was a beautifully written assessment on the (un)fairness of life. How come dreams don't come true? The song in Pinnochio said that it makes no difference who you are. And that anything your heart desires would come true.

But then on the third or fourth read of the line, I started thinking that this poetically admirable line was not so morally admirable. Did my friend mean that she closed her eyes really, really tightly and said please-with-a-cherry-on-top, and when that didn't work, she just gave up? Didn't she pay attention when watching those Disney films? Every story has a moral lesson. You can't get something for nothing. Even poor Pinnochio had to suffer being kidnapped by a shifty fox, exploitation by a fat puppet-leader, transforming into a donkey and being swallowed by a whale before he could be a real boy.

I've got to admit that I've wish upon a star more than once. I wonder if it's always the same star. There's something nice about thinking that all my own wishes are being stored up in one star in the sky and one day they will all shower down onto me like a big jackpot win. But with any serious wish, a proper one that matters if it will be fulfilled or not, I don't leave it up to the heavens. I work for it. Like I said, nothing comes from nothing. If you really wish you could get that promotion, you not only find the brightest star in the night sky, but you find the brightest star within yourself, and let it shine through. If you really wish you would get noticed by that special someone, you can store up the wishes in your personal star, but you've also got to stand up and work up the courage to say hi.

There's nothing wrong with wishing upon a star, but you can't give up when your wishes don't come true all at once. Your fairy godmother can only do so much by herself. Don't stop wishing - if you work hard enough, it might really come true. But if you were ever like 7yr old me, no matter how hard you work on your parents...you probably won't get a pony.

I drew back my bedroom curtains this morning and my driveway has been decorated by crispy brown leaves. I'm sure they weren't there last night. Whay happened when I was sleeping? Did a michevious pixie visit my road, scattering handfuls of crunchy golden offerings? Was it a windy night, bringing a new breed of everbrown into the area? Or is it just that Autumn is arriving? Thinking about it, I realise that today is the 1st October, which is well and truly Autumn. But I can't help feeling a bit cheated. How can it be Autumn already when Summer never came? How can it already be another new year at uni? My FINAL year.

And that is what it all boils down to. My final year at uni starts today. I can still vividly remember my first day at uni. Maybe it's a case of pathetic fallacy that I definitely recall the weather then as being blue skies and sun - definitely t-shirt weather. Today, the sky is a block of off-white, and anyone who has been in the UK for the past couple of weeks knows the temperature as been on the wrong side of double figures.

It's like the skies are telling me to stay at home...don't come outside, I might rain on you. Who would argue with logic like that? I do kinda feel like hiding away. I know that if I leave the house today and go to this first seminar, it will mean I have to go to the next seminar, and the one after that too. It will mean that another year has started and it will go just as fast as the last two, and before I know it, I will be at the end of the year, facing the rest of my life.

This is another blog of doubt. I'm scared of growing up. I don't know what is happening tomorrow, let alone what is happening after the next 9months that like to move in fast-forward. But I know that at 5pm, I will walk out of the seminar and I will forget about these doubts. I will get back into the swing of uni and I will let time run as fast as it wants. I've packed my bag now. That's the first step. Next, I'll be putting on my shoes and then there will be no going back. Time goes on no matter how scared I am, and I will have to grow up no matter how much I fight it.